Osho talks about what he has learned from us: nothing.
Q: Beloved Osho, let’s reverse the question for once: what did you learn by staying with us?
Sarjano, it is the Last Supper. Jesus has gathered all his disciples and there is a great feeling of sadness in the air. A single candle lights up the room. Everyone can sense that something important is about to happen and that this could be their last meal together.
Jesus pours the wine and turns the glasses, then divides the food and personally serves his disciples. The candle goes out and eventually all the food is gone except one hard–boiled egg.
Jesus says to Peter, sitting on his right hand: “Peter, my blessed disciple, would you like to eat this last egg?”
“Ah, no Master,” says Peter. “You must have it.”
Jesus then turns to his left and says: “John, my blessed disciple, would you like to eat this last egg?”
“Ah, no Master” says John. “You must have it.” Jesus asked all of his twelve disciples in turn, and they all refused the last egg, saying that he, their master, must have it.
Just then a gust of wind comes through the window and blows out the candle. The room is plunged into darkness and is filled with an impressive silence.
Suddenly, there is a horrible cry. Someone lights a new candle, and everyone gasps to see Jesus with his hand outstretched for the remaining egg — and embedded in the back of his hand, are twelve forks! But it was too late to learn…
I learned a lot. One of the most significant things I’ve learned is not to feel sad when you cheat, not to be sorry when you get lost, in fact, not even expect to have to trust.
The relationship between you and me has to be one–sided, on your side only, not on my side at all. You are here by your own free choice; you can walk away as freely as you came. You love me, this is your decision. You can start hating me: it will also be your decision. I am absolutely indifferent; only then is it possible not to feel hurt, not to feel hurt.
Jesus was betrayed only once, by a disciple. I was continually betrayed for almost the entire time Jesus lived on earth: thirty–three years. So many people I trusted so totally cheated on me so easily. There was a time when they were ready to die for me and just one little thing… if I wasn’t meeting their expectations, which I never agreed to fulfill, their love turns into big hate. The same person who was ready to die for me is ready to kill me.
So I learned the hard way that if you love, it’s your decision. If you hate, it’s your decision. I am almost non–existent as far as my part is concerned: I am neither a partner in your love, nor will I be a partner in your hate. This is a sad lesson, but it’s good that he learned it a long time ago.
If someone kills me, at least I will have no complaints, no grudges — because loving was his freedom, hating is also his freedom. I’m absolutely out of the relationship.
I will continue to do whatever I deem necessary for the growth of your consciousness.
But people keep changing — such stupid expectations and if they are not met… it seems like they have come to me to change me, to transform me. They want me to be according to their idea of what a teacher should be like.
I give you total freedom to be yourself. I never expect anything to be imposed on you, no ideal. I don’t give you any commandments. Yet you keep carrying certain expectations in your mind that I have to fulfill, and if they are not met… and they cannot be met.
Thousands of people are related to me. They have different ideals, different moral concepts. It is almost impossible — and even if it were possible, I am not a suitable man for those who are unaware, who live in the dark themselves.
You are here to go through a transformation. It’s none of your business how I live, what I say, what I do — the moment you start thinking about changing something in me, the bridge between you and me is broken.
And it is a one–sided bridge; I am not a partner in it. I know this is difficult for you, but your own question implies, Sarjano — maybe you didn’t read it very consciously as you were writing it… You say: “For once let’s reverse the question.” You can’t reverse it even for once. You’re asking yourself now, “What have you learned from being with us?” I have nothing to learn.
You are here only for the fact that you have found a person who has nothing to learn — and in particular from you, who is groping in the dark, in the unconsciousness, who are almost on the verge of madness — at any moment, alone, one step further and you’re in a madhouse.
Neither from you, nor from anyone else.
And my whole approach is — and I’ve insisted millions of times — that as far as ultimate truth or reality is concerned, you can’t learn it from anyone else. And once you know it, there is nothing more to learn.
So I tell you: not once can the question be reversed. I haven’t learned anything from you. You don’t have to feel responsible for anything. Being with you for all these three decades has not been a learning but simply a discovery: that there is no one in the world who is so smart as to be able to call him a friend, so awake as to be able to call him also an Amati. This was not a learning, it is simply a discovery, little by little, as I got to know human beings.
And as I traveled around the world, my discovery became absolutely clear: this humanity has come to a dead end. Hoping for something from this humanity is pure nonsense. Perhaps some people can be saved — and for them I continue to create Noah’s Ark, knowing full well that perhaps when Noah’s Ark is ready, there may be no one left to save. They may all have gone their own way.
It rarely happens: never have so many people come in contact with anyone — neither Jesus nor Mahavira or Buddha — and never have so many people left Buddha, Mahavira or Jesus. It is meaningful to have an idea. Even Gautama Buddha, a man of immense intuition, was ready to compromise on minor points with his disciples. And the disciple feels immensely happy if the teacher agrees with him, even if the teacher agrees with the disciple it is like the light that agrees with the darkness, the truth agrees with what not true, life agrees with death. But since Buddha, Mahavira, Jesus and other masters of the past have compromised on minor points, very few people have left them.
I am an absolutely uncompromising person. Or you have to be with me absolutely… without expecting anything from me, because I can’t agree on any smaller, more minute point if that’s not true.
And the truth is indivisible. You can’t say, “I may not have the whole truth, but a little, a piece of it, a piece of truth.” The truth is not divisible. The truth is almost like a circle. Have you ever seen a semicircle? Perhaps you have misunderstood: if you have seen a semicircle, it is no longer a circle at all; the circle can only be full. Half is just an arc, not a circle. Just as the circle is indivisible, so is the truth, so is life, so is existence, so is love, so is ecstasy.
Either you have it or you don’t.
If you have it, there is no doubt that you are here. If you don’t have it, then be absolutely clear that you don’t, because living in the illusion that you may have some, is dangerous.
What can I learn from you? — be unconscious? Being greedy? Being jealous? Being violent? What can I learn from you?
As I discovered more and more people, my hope for humanity vanished. If you want to call it learning, you can do it.
I don’t see any possible future. And the time is so short before the curtain falls that you shouldn’t waste it on useless things. Your life now must be absolutely dedicated to the most essential thing, the most fundamental thing: being enlightened must be your one–pointedness.
Everything else has to be sacrificed for it, because you can’t even put it off until tomorrow. Tomorrow may never come.
Osho – ‘The Hidden Splendor’ Chapter 13